Most Jobs aren't Posted-You Need to Network
You Know How To Do It
Think of Contacts as Your "Professional Friends"
You Already Have a Professional/Legal Network!
Expand Your Network
Anyone Can Be a Vital Part of Your Network
Follow-Up
Find Appropriate Balance
Keep Good Records
Seek Opportunities for Payback or to Touch Base
Respect Your Professional Friends
Cut the Cord When Appropriate
Networking Is Part of Being a Lawyer
Making New Professional Friends
Your "Infomercial"
Nuts & Bolts
Informational Interview
Questions
Networking Reception
Do and Don't Tips
It’s a simple fact that most jobs aren’t posted. Instead, many, many jobs graduates receive each year are found through networking. Does that mean only students who personally know lawyers get jobs? Absolutely not! It does mean, however, the students who get to know people get the jobs. Therefore, you need to market yourself and develop a network of professional contacts.
You Know How to Do It; You’ve Been Networking Since Kindergarten
There’s no magic event or secret recipe for networking. Think of networking to get a job, and down the road to get business, as making connections such as those you’ve made all your life. You already have networks. You most likely have lifelong friends you grew up with, family friends, college friends, law-school friends, and work colleagues, or maybe you belong to organizations and know people there. You keep this vast network of people in your life because you need different people for different reasons, and they need you for different reasons. You may have some friends you call when you need to make a big decision, others that enable you when you want to be a little wild and crazy, and yet others with whom you can talk about your pressures at work.
Networking with attorneys is merely adding a new set of people to your human resources in life. The people you meet may give you advice, may give you a lead on a job, may act as referral sources for you that land you an interview with an employer, may be people you can turn to if you’re not sure how to interpret a procedural rule, may refer cases to you, may collaborate with you on a big case, and may better understand your pressures, ups, and downs than anyone else! In turn, you will do the same for them. In short, they’re no different than the networks you have built for literally as long as you can remember.
Think of Contacts as Your “Professional Friends”
How do you approach making these “business friends”? The same way you have made other friends your entire life. Think how absurd it would have been had you marched up to someone on your first day of kindergarten and asked, “What can you do for me?” or “I want to be student council president some day, will you nominate me?” Instead, you got to know people, a vast array of people, and they got to know you. When you got into a scuffle on the playground, your friends came to your rescue. When you couldn’t figure out how to add fractions, they explained it to you. When you wanted to get to know that cute kid in class, your friend arranged the perfect scenario (or passed a note saying, “Do you like Pat? ___yes ___no ___maybe”).
You want to treat your professional “friends” the same way. Genuinely get to know them in a business sense, and share your career goals and experiences with them. Ask them for advice and information, and share advice and information with them in turn, when appropriate. These aren’t people you’re necessarily looking to add to your personal confidant list – you already have “personal friends,” but they are people you are adding to your business life.
You Already Have a Professional/Legal Network
How do you start making a network? It already started! Look around next time you’re in the classroom. Every person in that room is part of a network of Hamline students, who will become Hamline graduates. You all have something in common, and you’ve most likely even made very good friends with many. You also have a network with the greater Hamline community. The Career Services Office staff, and the staff at the law school in general, the professors, and Michele at the food cart are all part of your network.
Expand Your Network Through Resources Readily Available to You
Beyond the classroom, you can work to expand your network by getting to know even more attorneys. You can do this casually by attending Career Services programs and events and introducing yourself to the speakers. Let us know that you’re a responsible, reliable, mature person and what you’re interested in, and we become part of your network! You can be very pointed by going on one-on-one informational interviews (which we will even help fund, if up to $25 of expenses are involved – more later). Talk to your professors. Find attorneys who work in geographic areas and/or areas of practice of interest to you through www.martindale.com. You will make a network of colleagues at work throughout school and after. You may have networks through organizations, such as the state bar or other professional organizations. Consider writing an article for a legal publication to get your name out. Perhaps you might contact a local practitioner who works in an area that interests you and talk to him or her about ideas for this or another article. Volunteer for a firm or agency and get to know attorneys that way. Find out if you can hand out nametags, help with lunch, or run some errands on a CLE or seminar day. In return, you will get a chance to meet and greet attorneys. After breaking the ice, you will be able to talk to them about what they do or how they got there. Take advantage of getting to know attorneys through mock interviews. You can join these organizations and/or start networking as early as your first year (or before)!
Anyone Can Be A Vital and Helpful Part of Your Network
It’s not a big burden, as long as you aren’t a networking elitist! When you’re using your network for your job search, don’t overlook your entire life-long network! You’ve heard of the game “six degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon,” right? Name an actor, and by the time you name someone who acted in a movie with that person, and on and on for six steps, you can get back to Kevin Bacon. The same may be true of your dream job! You may not get to talk to your “Kevin Bacon” right away, but someone may know someone who may know someone who may refer you to “him.” (While this was an original thought of our Director, she was happy to see Malcolm Gladwell hit on this same example when she later read his book The Tipping Point, which is a great book for any networking student to read!)
Start from the very beginning; tell everyone you already know what you’re looking for. Tell your hairdresser, your dog trainer, and your neighbor. You probably make referrals to them because you like them and respect their work. They’re likely to similarly be willing to help you out by either making a referral, keeping their eyes and ears open, or introducing you to another client they like and respect who may be able to help you. Then, expand to new acquaintances, some of whom you’ll meet through referrals from your current contacts. Don’t overlook strangers, either. This may sound absurd, but it’s true. We have heard stories from graduates about getting job offers by chatting with strangers during layovers at airports or visiting in emergency rooms. Remember, at its most basic level, networking can be just sharing your goals, or what you do for a living, and making connections starting with simple conversations.
One-Time Meetings Without Follow-Up Do Not A Network Make!
So does that mean if you show up at our programs and say hi, or you join organizations, suddenly, you have a job and a network? Well…not quite. The key is that you need to keep up or follow up with your contacts (if that stranger in the operating room or airport gives you a card and says to call, “Mr. X,” then you have to do it to get any benefit from it!). Again, take it back to kindergarten. Would you have even made friends (vs. casual, passing acquaintances) if you talked to them once and never again? Probably not. That’s just not the way it works! If any of you have held on to high school friends over the years, you know it takes work. You probably aren’t together constantly, and maybe you don’t even talk often, but you maybe send a holiday card to touch base each year, or make a point to call once in awhile, or send a birthday card. The key is in keeping up with your contacts.
Find the Appropriate Balance and Engage in Give and Take
On the other hand, you don’t want to smother your contacts, or simply “use” them. We’ve probably all had experiences with friends who didn’t stay friends forever because they smothered us. Maybe it was the friend in elementary school who insisted on being your best friend to the exclusion of any other friends, or the friend who wanted you to go out with him or her every single weekend. As we get older and our human-resource network gets larger and larger, we have less and less time for each person in that network. Therefore, we tend to quickly weed out those who take up inordinate amounts of time. Likewise, we tend to grow up and lose our user friends as we get busier and busier. We discover over time that the friends who only show up when they need notes for class, or when their significant others are out of town, aren’t really friends and we tend to cut them out of our lives.
The same turn-offs apply for your business friends. Don’t smother them, and don’t just use them. Instead, be respectful of their time. Have a goal in meeting them, and stick to task. They have friends, and they have families, and they have work. If they’re smart business people they can also use another professional person in their network, but not if it takes up too much time. Show genuine interest in the person. Prepare for meetings. Don’t monopolize conversations at networking events; instead visit briefly and politely move on. Listen to what the person tells you, and follow the advice. Thank the person for the advice and express how much you appreciate his or her valuable time. And then…don’t be a user. This is a two-way professional relationship you’re hoping to build. Thank the person for his or her time, and then keep the person in mind.
Keeping track of your contacts is important. You probably couldn’t possibly remember every one of your friend’s phone numbers and addresses without writing them down. You should keep a similar record of your professional contacts. Ask for a business card when you meet and have meaningful conversations with someone. As soon as possible, jot down notes on the back of the card, including information about where you met the person, the date, and any other pertinent information. For example, you might jot down that the person has an eight-year-old daughter if he mentioned twice that he had to get going because he wanted to catch her basketball game. Next time you contact this person, you can mention in passing that you hope he made the game, or that his daughter’s basketball season ended well. Or when you’re having work-life balance issues down the road, you may remember this person who seemed to make it work and ask them for advice. Or maybe someone told you about a big case coming up. Jot that down, and then next time you contact the person ask how it turned out, or send a good-luck note before the trial.
Does this sound silly to you? Hairdressers do it all the time. Some remember your significant other’s name and that you have two dogs and one cat, even though they see several people a day for six weeks before you come back for your thirty-minute appointment, because they write it down! And you feel flattered that they remembered you, don’t you? The same will be true of your contacts. You don’t want to be over-the-top or too personal, but you want to show that you’re attentive. It also helps you remember these are people not just contacts.
If you can make a referral to him or her, do so. If you see an article that may be of interest, clip and send it. Offer to return the favor of the person’s kindness if he or she takes time out of the day to meet with you. For example, one alumna shared that she had an informational interview in law school and said, “Please be sure to let me know if I can ever do anything for you in return.” The attorney (a solo practitioner) called her a few weeks later to see if she could check his messages when he was out of town and if he received a call regarding some documents, if she would send those documents for him. She was happy to return the favor, which was very simple for her to do and a huge favor for him as he went on vacation several time zones away.
Keep a calendar to help with this effort. If you meet with someone January 1st, make a note in your calendar when that person’s trial is coming up so you remember to send that note, or make a note to follow up to say hello and update the person about your status July 1st, for example. Time flies by and you’re busy. Don’t worry about keeping it all in your head, write it down and follow up, accordingly.
Seek Opportunities for Payback or to Touch Base
You won’t have an immediate opportunity for payback every time someone meets with you. In that case, just maintain the contact as you do with your friends. Send a Thanksgiving card and thank the person for having met with you. Update the person on what you’ve been doing professionally. If you keep up this contact, when you need something else, or when the person needs you, you remember one another. Better yet, when the person sees a job that sounds just like what you’re looking for, the person may recommend you for the job or send you the posting.
Remember Your Professional Friends are People; Respect Them
Respect your networking contacts. Would you call up a friend and flat out ask her to pay your rent? I hope not! But you might call your friend and ask if she might consider introducing you to the neighbor who she mentioned was looking for someone to housesit in exchange for free rent. Would you then not show up for the interview with the neighbor, or never talk to the friend again? No! You would show up because your friend stuck her neck out for you, and you would thank your friend and let her know how the interview went. Treat your professional colleagues with the same respect. You aren’t asking them for a job, you’re asking them for help such as advice on how to get to where they are, or who they think you might want to talk to. Then follow up and report back!
Does this mean every person will be helpful or even willing to get to know you? Of course not. Are you still in touch with every classmate or friend you ever had? You need to target the people of genuine interest to you, and you may let some relationships run their course (and many contacts will never event get to the relationship stage, of course). If you meet a person genuinely interested in giving you advice, or with whom you connect, however, keep up the professional relationship!
Networking is Part of Being a Lawyer and Will Span Your Entire Career
Remember that networking is a professional life-long pursuit. Using the kindergarten analogy again, you didn’t walk into kindergarten, meet a handful of carefully selected people, and then hang up your social skills for life did you? (Please say no!) Of course not! You have met different people all through your life, some were around longer than others, some were closer than others, some were nicer than others. It never ends. The same is true of your professional network. You don’t quit making new business friends just because you land one job. Very, very few people keep the first job they get! If you quit networking because you have one job in the bag, you may end up as limited as a person who quit meeting people once he or she mastered kindergarten! There’s more to learn, and there are years of professional development ahead.
To Make New Professional Friends, Introduce Yourself, Ask Questions, and Show Interest in the Other Person
So what do you say to these people? An easy way to start is by giving yourself context – “Hi, I’m Nancy Lochner, and I’m a first year at Hamline Law School” or “Hi, my name is Nancy Lochner, and my friend, Jeanne Eliou, suggested I call you to find out more about activities in which I might become involved within the Minnesota State Bar Association.” Then ask a question and be sincere. Lawyers love to give advice. It’s what they do for a living. They can barely help it! The question can be simple, or it can even be a statement such as, “I understand you also went to Hamline law school.” Then ask something simple like, “What do you do?” The conversation will likely flow from there if you continue to ask questions. What do they do? Why? What do they like most about it? What are the challenges? How did they get into this line of work? If you wanted to get into this line of work, what classes might you want to take? Does this person read any particular trade magazines or belong to any organizations related to this practice? Who else should you talk to about this area of practice?
When applicable, another helpful approach is to act as the host of the event. Introduce yourself and ask the person if they’re having a good time or welcome them (this works especially well at Hamline functions). You can almost always carry on a conversation by listening to something someone says and then asking a follow-up question about that starting with “who,” “what,” “where,” “why,” or “when?”
Have Your “Infomercial” Memorized
You also want to be prepared to talk about yourself, of course. Have your own summary or “pitch” down. When the person turns the conversation back to you, or your accomplishments, be able to explain your strengths, accomplishments, and goals with ease. Many people don’t want to brag, which is a good thing to avoid, but they sometimes go overboard and don’t sell themselves, or artfully articulate their goals. Think about what you want from this person. For an informational interview, rehearse an introduction of yourself and articulate that goal. Rehearse a second brief synopsis of your overall career goals for times when you have random, unexpected contacts (such as the airport scenario). You also always want to end a great networking conversation by asking, “Who else do you think I should talk to?” Remember, it’s about making contacts.
As one practitioner shared with me in preparation for this session,
“You need to have done SOMETHING to impress SOMEONE. We all have done SOMETHING. Figure out what it is, and capitalize on it. Show that you have some experience. If you have none, use your connections. Even if it is an incredibly self-serving letter from a family friend who is a lawyer (I get one or two a year from a friend of mine, and I have to at least talk to them because, after all, they are a friend of my friend), get something in writing from someone. Say, ‘If you cannot hire me, do you know of anyone else to whom I could speak?’ I will always give two or three names.”
Nuts and Bolts
What Exactly Is an Informational Interview?
We’ve mentioned that you already have a network of people you know (friends, relatives, classmates, professors, us), but you also want to keep expanding that network to include more legally-related connections. One reason for doing this is to get information. You may be trying to narrow down what type of employment setting best appeals to you. You may be trying to learn more about an area of law. You may be hoping to get to know people who do what you want to do. One of the best ways to do so is to go “right to the horses mouth” through an informational interview.
The purpose of an informational interview is not to get a job. The purpose is to get information. This information will help you narrow down options, hone in on preferences, and gather information you can use for future job searches and interviews.
You may find people to informational interview with through several means. You may ask to informational interview with the attorney your hairdresser mentioned she thought you should get to know. You may meet an attorney briefly at a networking reception, or hear him speak at an event, and want to follow-up and learn more one-on-one. Or, you may find contacts through referrals from Career Services and Professors. Perhaps one of the most popular ways to make contact is to go to www.martindale.com (a directory of attorneys, although mostly at firms) and search for all of the attorneys in this directory (it is not inclusive of all attorneys, certainly) who practice in “x” area of law in the city of “y.”
Once you decide whom you are interested in interviewing, flesh out your goals and objectives in meeting with this person. What do you hope to learn from them? Why them?
Then, once your mission is clear, contact the person in the manner most comfortable to you. You may choose to write a concise letter. A one-page, approximately two-to-three-paragraph, letter (or email) is plenty.
Write this letter with a tone that conveys that this person does not need to go out of his or her way to do anything - you are suggesting the agenda, and you will follow up with this person. Do not ever put that onus on the person doing you the favor! For example, in the first paragraph, concisely set forth who you are, where you obtained information about the person, what you want from the person, and why. In the last paragraph of the letter, state that you will contact the person, and when: I will call the morning of Tuesday, October 9, 2005 to see if you might have time in your busy schedule for a thirty-minute meeting in the coming weeks. This will prepare the person for your call, and it will also prevent you from procrastinating! Be sure to call when you said you would.
Do not enclose a resume. If you do, the message will be that you are seeking a job, and if this person does not have a job to offer, communications will shut down. Remember, what you are really seeking through an informational interview is information. (Don’t lose sight of the obvious, either. If the two of you hit it off, and it’s a perfect fit, and the person coincidentally is in the market for someone like you, they will bring it up when the time is right)!
Another option would be to call the potential interviewee from the beginning. In that case, you lose the “prepare them ahead of time” element, but, on the other hand, it may be more efficient. Do what is most comfortable to you. Whenever you call, whether the first call or the follow-up call, rehearse what you want to say and make sure your goals and objectives are concise and clear. As with any call to someone at work, etiquette dictates that you should begin with an introduction of you who are, why you’re calling, and the question, “Is this a good time to briefly talk?” Then (assuming it is), BE BRIEF! (If, on the other hand, you get voice mail, you may want to call back rather than leaving a message – at least the first few times you try to touch base – so the “ball stays in your court.”)
When you reach someone, have some options in mind (were you hoping for a breakfast or lunch meeting near the person’s office, a fifteen-minute meeting during the day, etc.). Be flexible and defer to their preferences/recommendations about time and place, if possible, as they are doing you a favor. (It would also be a good idea to have your specific questions in mind when you make this call because you never know when the response might be, “How about we talk right now on the phone?”)
If you’ve had success in setting up an interview, it’s time to do even more homework. Be sure to review the attorney’s biography if it is available, review his or her web site, prepare your specific questions, etc.
If you’re having trouble coming up with ideas of what you want to ask, imagine you have to report back to our office, in writing, what this attorney does for a living and what that means. Putting yourself in this “investigative reporter” mode might take the pressure off of you to begin with, and questions you’re most interested in knowing the answers to will likely flow from there.
Depending on your goals, questions you might ask may include things such as:
- What is a typical day like for you?
- Who are your clients?
- What issues do you deal with?
- Are you in court?
- How did you get into this kind of work?
- What classes would you recommend I take if I am interested in this area of practice?
- What type of assignments do entry-level attorneys generally receive at your employer?
- What qualities would make me an attractive entry-level candidate in a setting such as yours?
- What aspect of your work do you find most rewarding?
- What aspect of your work do you find most challenging?
- If you could go back and start law school over, knowing then what you know now, what, if anything, would you do differently?
- What path did you take to get where you are?
- What type of experience would you recommend I obtain to prepare for a job in your area?
- What sort of hours do you work? Is that typical of…?
- Do you travel for work?
- What pressures do you feel on the job?
- Do you read any certain work-related magazines, or visit and web sites, or belong to any list servs or organizations? Which?
- Where do you see this area of law going in the near future? The long-term future?
- What sort of time frames do you work under?
- Do you work alone, or as teams?
- What sorts of issues do your clients have?
- To whom do you turn for support or advice?
The day of the informational interview, you want to dress and conduct yourself the same way you would for a job interview (dress as you would for an interview, show up on time, be organized, be positive, etc.), but…also remember that you are responsible for asking the questions and carrying the meeting along. Turn off your cell phone, and if it rings apologize and do not answer it.
If you are the one who set up the interview, and it involves expense (parking, coffee, food, etc.), you should be prepared to pick up the tab. The Career Services will gladly reimburse you for up to $25 of expenses (with receipt(s)) for any such expenses, if you turn in to us a summary of what you learned about the employer. This summary may be anonymous as to both the interviewee’s and interviewer’s identities. We will put this summary in a binder accessible to all students, so the next student who wants to know about a day in the life of a “x” lawyer can learn from your research. You do not need pre-approval for this process, and it is available until further notice from Career Services (it may be withdrawn at any time).
Depending on how the interview goes and what topics come up, you may decide to ask the interviewee if he or she would consider eyeballing your resume (that you’ve brought with you but not sent ahead) and giving you any suggestions that might help you make it most appealing to people who practice in his or her area of law. We do not necessarily recommend this. If you want to go down this path, do not act as though you’re giving this person homework to fix or write your resume, however. Remember, you are trying to learn as much as you can in a very small span of time. Given that, perhaps the Career Services Office, your mentor, or others might be better people to ask for resume advice. Also remember if you do ask, this is a very delicate situation and you must not, under any circumstances, state or imply that you are expecting or looking for a job from this person. (Of course, if the person explicitly asks for your resume or mentions a job, then the situation changes, but you are never to be the one to initiate such a change.)
Before you leave the interview, you definitely do want to ask if the person knows of anyone else who might be willing to talk about their practice in this area of law, or with this type of employer, or working in this region (whatever the case may be). Make sure to get permission to say that this interviewee referred you to the next person. Write down the information. Then, if you get a name, always…follow…up…by calling the person to whom you were referred and by letting the person who made the referral know that you touched base and that you’re thankful for the referral. You must do this, or your referral sources will quickly dry up. People who stick their necks out to help you want to know if it helped, and they will assume it was not helpful or wanted if they do not hear back (meaning they will not have warm fuzzies about you and will likely not make future referrals or efforts to help you). This is true of anyone who gives you a referral – a friend, a professor, us, etc.
After the meeting (or a helpful phone call or email), you should send a typed (because it’s business correspondence) hard-copy or email (depending on how formal or informal this relationship is) thank-you letter within one or two days. Thank the person for his or her time, and mention, if possible, how you will use the advice given to you. After that, follow up every few months or so (depending on the situation) to let you contact know where you stand and what else you’ve learned (or to ask if you can repay the favor, etc., as explained above).
In some circumstances (such as when you’re actually also in a job-hunting phase or when you really hit it off with an employer and that employer has said to let you know if there’s anything else they can do to help you, for example), it might be appropriate to say something in this cover letter to the effect of, “After visiting with you, I am even more excited about entering the field of ‘x.’ If you ever hear of anyone looking for someone with my interests and qualifications, please feel free to pass on my name or to let me know.” If this relationship blooms into something more long-standing and active, you may then choose to supply the person with a copy of your resume to forward on if they are ever asked by a friend or colleague if they have suggestions of someone right for a “y” position.
You also want to debrief yourself as soon as possible after the interview. If you were given a business card, jot the date and notes on the back of the card (after you leave) to help you remember the person and the advice. You can add the information to a more formal log, and expound upon your notes, later.
What Do I Do At A Networking Reception?
The purpose of a networking reception is to meet people! We’ll give you a few etiquette and other tips about them here.
When you put on a nametag, be sure to include your name and the school’s name or the name of your employer. When you ask yourself, “Which is the right side to put this on?” you’ve answered your own question. Always put your nametag on the right-hand side. (That way, when people lean in to shake your hand they can comfortable and discreetly glance at your nametag.)
Food and drinks are at receptions to act as crutches, not as your meals. It is okay to take something to drink and small, manageable amounts of food that you can eat while standing. Be aware, however, that if you have food in your left hand and a drink in your right hand, it’s both difficult to eat that food on the plate and to shake hands with people you meet. You may want to do one or another, or one at a time. Always hold the food or drink in your left hand, so your right hand doesn’t have sweat from a bottle or glass, or food, on it when you go to shake hands with someone. (On the other hand, if someone else is not abiding by this “rule,” do not attempt to shake their hand, thereby engaging them in a juggling act.) For wine, you are safest to hold the wine glass by the stem, although some say that you may hold red wine by the bowl (since it’s already warm and won’t be further warmed by your hand). Go to the food and drinks only once.
Practice an introduction you can use at these occasions, which may be as simple as walking up to someone, smiling, and saying, “Hi, I’m Jane Doe, and I’m a second-year law student here at Hamline.” Introduce yourself to people who may know you but who may not remember your name to help them avoid any potential embarrassment if they cannot come up with your name right away.
A game you can play to amuse yourself and take the pressure off is to play host of the event. A good host is always gracious and introduces his or her guests to others around, makes sure the guests’ needs are met, thanks people for coming, shows interest in those who are alone, etc. When introducing people, always introduce the less senior person to the more senior person (if applicable). (If you forget this rule, think of how royalty or dignitaries operate. Perhaps you’ve seen lines of people waiting to get into an event and heard the name of the guest announced as they walk up to shake the hand of the President or royalty. Remember the less senior name comes first in that instance and in these. “Nancy Lochner, I’d like to introduce you to Justice Doe.”) If you don’t remember someone’s name you might try to save face by saying something like, “Jane, I have someone you should meet. This gentleman works for ‘x’ doing ‘y.’” That way you’ve given something, and hopefully the person you’re introducing to your friend Jane will jump in and share his name (so you can remember it this time)!
Ask who, what, where, why, or when questions to keep a conversation flowing.
Here are some other Do and Don’t Tips:
DO
Adopt a positive attitude and show it on your face
Act more like an attorney than a student
Focus on the benefits of the event. Have goals and stick to them
Focus on the person you’re talking to; this is a person
Look people in the eye
Engage in give-and-take conversation
Have opinions and interests to share in small talk
Practice your handshake (no jellyfish, knuckle breakers, prissy finger squeezes)
DON'T
Hang out in clumps of people you know (but having one friend to introduce may help the conversation along)
Use disparaging humor
Have one drink too many
Say anything that will embarrass anyone
Make off-color jokes or have lapses in good judgment
Appear needy
Interrupt
Scan the room for your next ‘target’ as someone else is talking to you
Swear
Be giggly
Monopolize one person’s time
Hide in a corner waiting for people to come to you
Overload your plate at the buffet and/or go back more than once
Size up people by the importance of their title
Be loud
Complain
Spend your time with a sleazy or rude person
If you have hit it off with someone and want to talk further but need to move on for the sake of you or them networking with others at the reception, you can say something like, “It has been so interesting to talk to you. Could I get your card and follow up with you further on [the topic you were discussing] in the future?”
If you feel the need to get away from someone, at a natural breaking point in the conversation say that it has been a pleasure to meet them, or to talk to them, and then simply move away. You do not need to make an excuse, but if you do (I need to excuse myself to check out the buffet, or bar, or to say hello to a few other people before the reception ends), be sure to follow up with your feet and move in the appropriate direction!